Am I a good father?
The Journey of a Father
Episode 2
I’m a father.
In some ways, I always have been. I remember while graduating with my music degree a young man one class behind me embraced me during my final year and said, “you’re like a father to me.”
I was only a year older than him, but for him, I provided the father figure he needed. I was only 23, but one can become a father at any time.
In fact, the ability to father is a right of passage from being a boy and becoming a man.
And becoming a father initiates you into fatherhood.
So, if being a father is easy (even Darth Vader can do it) then what does it mean to be a good father?
Manage your own Resources
Manage your own Emotions
Manage your own Spirituality
We all need stuff - money and wealth. In the long past, it was cattle. Now it is money and of course, that all might be changing soon. Ancient wisdom says to place your stuff in multiple places so when the storm comes, not all of it washes away.
A good father takes care of his things and the things of his family. He goes to work on time and clocks out on time. He also keeps an eye on how much food is in the house and the health of his children. Although he is in control, he does not control. He takes care of the vehicles and pets. He takes care of the schedule - making sure that everyone gets well rested and doesn’t indulge in sloth.
He knows what is going on in his home - it doesn’t frighten him and even if he is frightened, he doesn’t lose control of his temper.
In contradiction - the controlling father, out of fear, puts everyone and everything on lockdown. He password protects his pocketbook, he restricts the comings and goings of his children, he withholds resources as a means of punishment and as a way to keep control.
Because of fear - he bows to the illusion of control - but remember, directing a family is more like calligraphy than it is laying down gravel. It’s delicate, requires a finished touch rather than a dump.
Dear father, you are not in control of much, for there are many forces, unexplainable. Learn temperance, the balance between fear and faith - learn that sometimes your child needs borders and sometimes they need you to be the border.
Don’t strike your children to instill fear.
Don’t strike your children.
Give them lessons on your failures and successes regarding money.
Teach them how to care for a pet, how to feed it and make sure it has boundaries.
Boundaries make our nervous systems secure.
The other challenges of a good father are managing your own emotions and your own spirit.
So, am I a good father?
Consider that fatherhood, a good one, is not so much a destination to reach as it is a direction in which you face.
So, face the right direction, fathers, and bring your children with you.
And as always, may your story continue