Caring for a baby takes up most of my time, but also fuels the drive for me to keep writing and journaling. I don’t know if it is only me - maybe my stars align this way, but journaling works to unclutter my mind.
Beginning with the understanding that the mind occupies a sort of space in the world, I understand then that that space also obeys some law of entropy. Clutter always happens, stuff takes over corners forgotten and closets unkept. Left to itself, each room and drawer in my house would fall to organizational ruin. When I needed something, I would never know it’s whereabouts. So, I started saying “put this item in its home, it wants to go home.” Personalizing the object helped me value putting stuff back neat and tidy.
I do the same with journaling. Instead of organizing stuff of the material world, I organize spirit matter.
Spirit matter is no matter at all, but energy of course. Frameworks help me organize all that mess and the ultimate goal and result is that I don’t end up a psychotic mess by the end of my life with my stretch goal being that I help some sojourners along the way find peace in their minds and spirits.
One of the frameworks I love to use is the four elements. Earth Air Water and Fire. Categorizing all of life into these four buckets makes life easier to understand. But I’m not a fool, because if you see the four seasons, directions, elements, DNA strands or something, four basic periodic elements, four blood type (A,B,+, -) …
the number four should not be overlooked as a fool’s framework.
I combined that framework with the “Realms of Life” framework and this fun little recipe emerged. That’s right, there are four basic realms where all of life’s drama will occur, with the sound of silence, applause or booing.
Being an Individual
Working for Impact
Relating to the Other
Retreating into the Unseen
For me, I apply Air element to the Being category. This means that if I need to focus on my self, expression, or expanding my worldview, I turn to the element of Air. I talk about it aloud - this is why I can talk about myself for hours. The air element corresponds with thinking and action, communication and dialogue as well as most forms of expression. Air is also pretty flexible, if you ask me, and can seem to shift at any whim. So is like myself, at least, my interface in the world where I can shape shift based on my environment. Unlike some folks, this does NOT violate my sense of self, nor do I betray myself by being mutable - rather this is who I am. I am air.
The next realm of life involves work, value, production and all things that make an impact in the world. This answers the old question, “what do you do?” For me, I apply the Water element to this Working category. Water means healing, carrying, transport, boundaries (many countries use rivers to establish boundaries), but also watering holes (where both predator and prey can drink in peace), water doesn’t just feed the crop, but also delivers the otherwise static minerals from the earth, so water deals in transportation. Water also signifies holding, such as in utero, those space movies that heal people in float tanks, and brines that preserve foods. Water holds us in a space other than our usual world. Looking back, I have chosen to value the work of water over the work of earth (earth would build something lasting, often making more money), but the work of water is a lot like the waves on the seashore, very emergent, very ephemeral - here for a moment and then gone.
Musician
Hospice
Life Coaching
Dungeons and Dragons Games
I have made money doing all of those things and none of them “lasted” in the sense that we can point to a building and say “it’s there” in the objective sense. All my life performances are gone, the patients have gone from our sight, the coaching a jot in someone’s journal and the D&D games, while they were loads of fun in the moment, have vanished into memory.
But nevertheless, the work and impact of water shapes our values for future generations. I love this element more than any other. In fact, spending time in the water for 30 minutes resets my entire body and mind to remember myself.
The Fire element may be the most exciting of all elements. It sparks, flashes, warms, and fizzles. Or it roars and takes over all things until it’s never ending lust is quenched. I apply fire to the the realm of life “Relating to the Other”. This involves communicating in groups, family units, understanding my wife, and carving out a place for myself in society. I laugh at how quickly I can come and go. For as relatable as I am, I sure can spark quickly out of a crowd, or even a relationship. Or I can obsess over a relationship until it consumes every waking moment. The best compliment I have received was a friend who put her hands up toward me and said, “you’re just like a warm fireplace when you’re around.”
I like that - a warm, cozy fireplace. I chose the campfire logo for Sojourner’s Awake because indeed, how I relate to all things other than me is through a campfire. I make a fire, and you show up. You’re the Other.
Regulating my “fire” has been the work of 42 years, hopefully learning to love intentionally and not carelessly. I’m thankful for the friends that have kept a hold of my love though it sparked away into the sky.
Finally the Earth Element - it relates to the most confusing realm of our lives. This is the “backstage” of life - private, unseen, occult and obscure. (I am revamping the word occult to hail to its original meaning “that which is hidden).
This is who you are when no one watches, in the comfort of your home as well as the recesses of your mind. These are your dreams by night, and the scribblings in your journal. This is the realm of life where disorders and complexes grow in shadows. This is not the drama of a failed relationship, or a dying industry, this is the drama of all things you wish to hide.
It’s really a juxtaposition of your “Being your Self” realm, because in that realm, you are free to express, in fact, you probably enjoy to express. This realm is the quiet, rejected, exiled parts of you that have yet to breach the surface. For me, I apply the earth element here.
Earth is just there. Right? It’s dirt, sand, stone, rock, minerals and the absolute definition of matter. It’s objective, unlike water, it doesn’t fill a container. It’s static, unlike air, which moves. It’s consumed rather than consuming, like fire. It’s not that earth makes money, it’s that it just doesn’t spend it.
That’s a good image - earth collects, like moss growing on a log, or snow on a mountain, or corners collecting stuff. Earth is the container by which all other things gather. I’ve never thought of myself as “grounded”, but occasionally someone will mention that I am. But most people see the Air or Fire in me, because that’s how I Express and Relate. The earth is the most private part of me, the stuff of dreams and secrets.
This may be why I started journaling: to organize the matter of the spirit world. To keep my insides neat and tidy. To stabilize an otherwise chaotic mental world. Earth Matters.
This brings me back to my original thought. The reason I journal is to leave a legacy for my children. I’m a Dad, and I leave my children with these thoughts and frameworks to help them organize a scary darkness of the mental realm. Because when a thing is organized, it has a home.
May your story continue.